Engaged: Ethan’s Story
The day Kylah and I crossed the bridge from best friends to "something more", I told her she would be the last girl I ever dated. Then, I waited a few days before sharing that I already knew how I would propose. In life, not much goes according to plan, but the idea of proposing in our favorite little cemetery has always been a non-negotiable certainty for me.
We've had a long journey together, and most of our early years together were spent wandering around Queen Anne on a bi-weekly "existential crisis" appointment that Kylah scheduled during work. It was on these walks, which almost always included the Pleasant Hill Cemetery, that I came to love, respect, and adore Kylah. She became my best friend in that cemetery. When we became something more, I knew that I wanted to make it official at the trailhead of our relationship. And, given our love of the existential, I couldn't imagine a better place.
My original plan was a little different: within our first month of dating, I called the cemetery to inquire about buying 2 plots. The idea was to propose with the deed to our plots and a simple ask: "do you want to die together?" But at the same price as your average SUV, buying two grave plots was out of the question. However, with the help of some DIY Halloween tutorials and the support of our friends, I managed to pull off a beautiful and slightly less morbid Plan "B"
After a day of chasing clues to some of our most treasured places, we arrived at the cemetery just as the sun began to approach the horizon. I wandered through the cemetery with picnic blankets in hand, looking for "the perfect place to catch the sunset" -- in fact, I was just desperately trying to find the DIY headstones that had been set up by a friend. Then, in the distance, I saw a woman kneeling behind a headstone. While I knew she was our pregnant photographer who had been waiting for us for over an hour, Kylah cautiously suggested we give the grieving woman some space.
"She'll be fine," I said, as we found the first of our DIY headstones. We walked along a path lined with headstones filled with jokes we had laughed about years before: "I'm with stupid", or "Watch it! I'm trying to sleep down here", or "Excited to haunt you", and so on, until finally we arrived at our destination: a headstone with our names on it. In a speech I'd thankfully had the forethought to write down, I asked her if she would give me the honor of being by my side, as my wife, to the very end.
Kylah had promised me a "yes" ten months into dating, with a promise ring that I've worn to this day. But the act of taking her up on the offer was the scariest and most rewarding leap I've ever taken. A cemetery represents the finality of our life, and a reminder that we don't take anything with us... but we do leave a lot behind. I know deep in my heart that spending this life with Kylah will allow me to leave the fullest and most precious life, family, and legacy behind me.
And so I began the long walk home with my favorite person in the whole world by my side.
